


What's Normal?

by domluver



Category: American Actor RPF
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 15:05:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6810283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/domluver/pseuds/domluver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I can't give you what you want. I can't give you a normal relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's Normal?

Caerwyn twisted the butter knife on it's tip. She stared unseeing as the light kept reflecting off of the candles. They were half melted the wax already staining the brand new table cloth. She had spent the day working on dinner; baked pasta, homemade garlic bread with her grandmother's recipe for meatballs. She had long since put it away, he wasn't coming like he said he would. Caerwyn left countless voice and text messages and he didn't even reply. Sighing she stopped the knife, holding it steady in her hand she wanted nothing more than to throw it across the room. But she couldn't, it wouldn't be satisfying because it wouldn't hit him.

Standing up she began gathering the plates and utensils. As she was just about to take them all back to their home she heard the door swing open, then slam shut. She gripped the plates tightly, grinding her teeth down if she yelled out something she would regret it. 

“Caer, I'm home! I'm so sorry I'm late, they wanted to get a shot perfect and it took almost ten takes and I just--” Chris Evans walked into the kitchen stopping dead in his tracks. His eyes widened taking in the scene. The table was set for a romantic evening, wine glasses, china plates he could even smell some hint of Italian food. His jaw dropped as he reached into his pocket, his phone was dead. “Oh, Oh Caer I'm so sorry! I forgot, my phone died earlier in the day. We were doing a lot of complicated things today, I--”

“Save it!” She spat holding up her hand, she walked past him throwing the plates in the sink. They had sat out too long to just be put back home, plus it would give him something to do. “I don't care, a call would've been nice. 'Caer I'm running late, I'll be there soon.' But no you couldn't do that or even remember that we had planned this dinner weeks ago.”

“I know, I'm sorry, they changed the schedule instead of being a slow day we did a lot of re-shoots that needed work.” Chris walked up beside her trying to wrap his arms around her. She brushed him off “I—tell me what I can do.”

“Just, leave me alone for a bit okay? I sat and thought while I was waiting for you. I honestly don't know if you want to hear any of it so just let me cool down okay?”

Chris could only nod, he knew if he said anything he would see her walk out that door and not come back. Caerwyn walked past him slowly and continued down the hall. He heard their bedroom door shut. He wanted more than anything to follow her. Wrap his arms around her and never let her go. But this was his fault and he didn't want to make it worse. Taking a deep breath he continued to clean up the kitchen. If anything he would be able to get rid of the reminder for Caerwyn what a lousy boyfriend he was. 

Caerwyn climbed into the shower before she allowed herself to cry. She was angry, frustrated and felt abandoned. It wasn't the first time that Chris had forgot or missed something. They had been late for birthday parties, dates and everything under the sun because of his job. She thought she was used to it, but sitting alone for hours tonight told her differently. This relationship came with a warning she knew that when they first started dating. How could you date a celebrity and not know what came with the territory. She had her share of tabloid fodder, internet bashing and rumors but she could shrug and laugh those off because she knew the truth. 

With Chris it was hard to guess what he was thinking. He could easily forget the simplest thing by becoming overwhelmed with work or an upcoming award show. But he would never seem to forget her. The text messages, emails and phone calls were all proof of that. It was almost as if he was reassuring himself as well as Caerwyn about their relationship. Today, there were no texts, no messages nothing. Caer ran her fingers through her wet hair, she was going to get no were in the endless loop of thinking. She would just have to come out and ask him, with a man who lived in his mind and rarely spoke what he was thinking; that was the best route. 

 

Chris sat in the room for what felt like hours. He started to clean and straighten, before collapsing onto the couch and grabbing a book. He needed to keep his mind busy and empty, he couldn't afford to get lost in his thoughts, it would turn bad very quickly. He realized his mistakes, but he didn't want to make them worse he needed to see how Caerwyn was before he would do that to himself. It would come anyways, looking over the day seeing what he should've done to change the outcome. Not that it would do any good. Chris shook his head trying to clear it. He knew what he had to say, but he was scared. The door to the bedroom opened slowly, Caerwyn stood in the doorway. Hair wet from her shower, clad in one of his shirts and boxers. He loved her more than he imagined, and there she was standing in front of him worrying the sleeves on the shirt scared almost to come into the room. 

“Chris,” She started quietly, he stood up and hesitated he would let her make the first move. “I—where do you see us? What are we? Just what I think we're doing so well, then--” Caerwyn walked up to the couch where he was sitting and stared down at him. Her whole body shook with each breath, like she would lash out of him at any minute. 

"I can't give you what you want. I can't give you a normal relationship,” Chris sighed shaking his head. He sat heavily down on the couch looking up at her. Nothing about his life would be normal, and maybe that's what would cost him.

“If I wanted normal, I wouldn't be in his relationship.” Caerwyn grinned crookedly down at him. Holding out her hand he grasped it like his lifeline. Slowly he pulled her down into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck she buried her face in his shoulder. “I just need consistency, which can be hard but that's all I want.”

“Was this all just because I didn't answer my phone or text?” Chris rubbed her back lightly loving the feel of her resting in his lap.

“It's more than that, you have—idiosyncrasies with your,” Caerwyn frowned against his neck, she didn't exactly want to come out and say it even though he never denied it.

“Anxiety,” He finished for her.

“Yes, I got used to the constant texts and messages and the minute it stopped I got worried,” Once the words left her mouth Caerwyn felt stupid her body flushed.

Chris started to laugh, she felt the chuckle rise in his chest before he laughed loudly. Blood pounded her ears as she pulled away from his neck. He was laughing and smiling down at her. Pulling back from him she shook her head what was going on?

“What's so funny?”

“I honestly never though that would save our relationship,” He leaned down and kissed her. Cupping her neck he rested his forehead on hers smiling against her lips “I know I can't give you a normal life with who and what I am. But if that's the normal you want I can surely give it to you.”


End file.
